"I can actually hear you getting fatter"

Yes, a classic line from Tommy Boy rings all-too-true the last few days of travel. I've discovered new food options available to Americans. First of all, I was in Wisconsin today (I sat in O'hare from 6:30pm - 11:30pm waiting for my plane to Wisconsin, but that's another story). Anyway, while I sat in O'hare I talked to some other passengers waiting for the Green Bay flight. We got on the topic of cheees curds and what a wonderful "treat" they are. They told us we HAD to have fried cheese curds before we left. I know it doesn't sound good, but I'm sure it's not. Then, one of our customers today was confirming how wonderful cheese curds are and said, "sometimes they sqeak on your teeth when you chew them." Raise your hand if this really sounds good? Hmmmm, Hmmmm. At first, I didn't think they sounded good, but the "sqeaking" on my teeth captured me. ARE YOU KIDDING! I still have yet to try these and it's not a life goal at this point. Here's a pic of a cheese curd if you still had any doubts.
Anyway, now I'm in Cincinnati, OH where they are known for their chili. But here's the gross part: they have fastfood chili resturants where that's all they serve (Skyline and Goldstar are the main two). These people eat large bowls of chili as a meal, but not just chili. They start by putting pasta noodles in a bowl, add some chili, then cheese, then stop your heart, pull out the paddles, CLEAR, restart, more cheese, topped with chili and heartburn. Rumor is that the chili itself contains chocolate and cinnamon, and is a sweet-chili. Also (and this is my favorite part) you can ask for a 3-way, 4-way or 5-way. 3-way: pasta, chili, cheese. 4-way: add either onions or red beans, and 5-way: everything. Please, anyone from Wisconsin or Ohio tell me why either of these are tempting.