Saturday, April 14, 2007

Drooling while you sleep can be socially awkward

When I was in high school, I went to a white water rafting camp in Oregon. Basically, it was a week long and we went white water rafting every other day. It was perhaps one of the greatest weeks of my life and full of memories. One memory in particular was not so good. After a long day of rafting, I was headed home on the short bus with the other kids from my raft group. The girl next to me was obviously exhausted from the day and fell asleep almost as soon as we sat down. I didn't know her at all - never met her, never seen her, except for that day and even that day I never actually talked to her. So, about 10 minutes into the ride her head falls onto my shoulder. Let's be honest - she was really not all that attractive so it was one of those awkward moments - I didn't want to wake her up and embarrass her, but I also really didn't want her snoozing on my shoulder. But, being the nice guy I was, I didn't wake her up. A few minutes later, the bus started heading down a hill and her body wasn't prepared for the transition. The next thing I knew her whole body flopped over and her head was in my lap. As her face slapped against the back of my hand in my lap, she immediately woke up, sat straight up and looked at me with this horrified expression, then laid her head against the bus window and went back to sleep. The whole thing happened so fast, I was still trying to piece it together when I noticed the entire back-side of my hand covered in a pool of warm drool. This wasn't just a droplet, we're talking a full, chipmunk-size-storage mouthful. So, I grabbed her shirt that was sitting on the seat next to her and soaked it up - what! I wasn't going to wipe it on my clothes! I don't think she ever fully knew what's probably better that way.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Some personal notes from me to phobics

Phobophobia: Fear of phobias
I would advise that you don't continue reading.

Prosophobia: Fear of progress
Two down, 12 to go. Good work!

Sophophobia: Fear of learning
Keep reading - there's lots of good information here.

Agateophobia: Fear of insanity
Is it just me or does that seem like a cyclical problem? If you're always afraid that you may be insane....doesn't that make you insane?

Apeirophobia: Fear of infinity
Sorry apeirophobics, this will always be a fear for humans. ALWAYS.

Arithmophobia: Fear of numbers
My #1 favorite, but #6 on the list.

Athazagoraphobia: Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting
These people don't really exist.

Catagelophobia: Fear of being ridiculed
These people are morons.

Cenophobia (or Centophobia): Fear of new things or ideas
I bet you don't even know what your phobia is called.

Cyberphobia: Fear of computers or working on a computer

Decidophobia: Fear of making decisions
Please take my survey in the sidebar.

Hamartophobia: Fear of sinning
Too late. Sinner.

Xyrophobia: Fear of razors
I'm sure you have a lovely beard.