Refreshing Turkey Legs!

Every holiday weekend gives us a reason to party - Memorial Day, St Patrick's Day, July 4th, Yom Kippur, etc. There are always plenty of festivals, parades, and events to occupy our time off work. And for some reason, when we get out in the hot sun, our senses are dulled and our judgment is impaired. I know this because I watch people line up and pay for overpriced turkey legs and giant pickles. Neither one of these is something I would consider a "refreshing snack". Maybe it's just me, but the last thing I'm thinking on a hot summer day is, "boy could I use a giant, hot turkey leg." Have you ever seen a marathon runner finish the race and head for the grill for a turkey leg? or a sunbather enjoying a day at the beach and crack open the cooler for a warm piece of poultry? No (unless you live in Alabama). So what makes them so tempting at carnivals and festivals? Someone needs to take a stand for all mankind and proudly say, "that's filthy disgusting."

Grills - not just for cars and cooking

So, as you know, I have opinions about lots of stuff. Here's a new one for ya - "Grills". These are actually custom-fit jewelry that somehow we've brainwashed some American citizens to not only buy, but wear over their teeth in public. Grills slip on over your teeth, but do absolutely nothing for the health of your teeth, in fact, it's recommended that you only wear them for 3 hours at a time. You can't have them in to eat, sleep, or brush your teeth. You can purchase these stunning freakshow trinkets anywhere from $100 to over $1,000. One site offers them in everything from 10k gold, to Platinum. I've thought of some potential ways these may change our society:

1) no more need for bicycle reflectors - just smile if you're about to get hit by a car
2) "It was so romantic - he got down on one knee, smiled, and asked me to marry him with a 14k grill"
3) Criminal mugshots will be less recognizable because of the glare from their grills
4) As if rap music isn't bad enough, now we're going to hear feedback in the microphone from their teeth jewelry
5) Eminem has something else to spend his money on...what's next?...maybe his children...

Jesus Loves Porn Stars

Well, I have to say, NavPress is certainly "reaching new markets". After Amercian Bible Society backed out of their agreements, NavPress is now making arrangements to publish the Message Bible with a bright yellow and pink cover that simply says, "Jesus Loves Porn Stars". The Bible will be handed out at adult porn conventions by xxxchurch.com. Some people are truly offended by this, but the fact is it's true! No, Jesus doesn't love what they're doing or what they support, but He still has an unconditional love for them.
Check out Beliefnet.com for more information or xxxchurch.com to order your own copy.