Thursday, December 18, 2008

Things I Miss From Childhood

These are the things that made my childhood so cool:

Heck with Rubber Ducky, Mr Bubble made bath time lots of fun for me. My mom would always measure a tiny capful, then when she left the bathroom we would add another few cups of Mr Bubble to the water. If you read up on Mr. Bubble, it was actually intended to encourage kids to take baths. Worked for me - I took a bath every Saturday night until I was 16 (This statement is for humorous purposes only. It is not intended to represent or classify actual time spent bathing).

Oh yeah, these were very cool. I ran around in them all day, jumping from the 4th stair so my cape could flap in the wind a bit and I could feel the thrill of flying for 0.2 seconds. After a full day of super activities in my pj's, I would wear them to bed. I'm sure they had an awful stench.

I'm not sure why these were so popular. I guess they were good for kids like me who didn't learn to ride a 2-wheel bike until later than most children. But the design of Big Wheels seemed a little sub-par. No matter how fast you pedaled, the flat tractionless plastic wheels just kept spinning. If you were riding along with your friends, there was no hope for talking to eachother because the plastic on pavement made so much noise, you had stop just to make sense of any conversation. Plus, the brakes on those...uummmm, I don't think they would have really served you well in a true emergency based on the fact you would still skid a good 5 feet after fully applying the brake pedal. Perhaps that most dangerous part of these cheap plastic contraptions was going down a hill where you could no longer move your legs fast enough to keep up with the pedals and you ended up whacking the hell out of your chins and feet. Way to go on introducing pain to children at an early age Mr. Big Wheel.

Very retro. Padded vest and dorky trucker hats with sensors provided hours of fun. They also used gobs of batteries and after a few stuntman dives across the floor, the guns didn't work so well.

There were two types of Zots. One, (Zotz) were an individually wrapped hard candy available at the local 7-11 that had a fizzy-center filling. The second type of zot was the typical boy invention - pieces of ordinary paper, folded up many times, then folded in half. Often times, we would put tape around them as well. Then, you wrap them around a rubber band and shoot them at each other like a sling shot. We had hours of zot wars in our basement growing up. My moms only requirement was that we wore goggles to protect our eyes. We also used our Lazer Tag vest to protect our core since the lazer tag set pretty much broke after the first few months we had it. We were huge dorks, but it was lots of fun. It was sort of a younger version of "Paint Ball" - we had many welts and red marks from some brutal zot shots.
Thanks for reflecting with me, and thanks to Stef N for the inspiration to write on Mr Bubble.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Year of The _________

I try to date one girl per year. It just makes it easier when recalling past relationships so I can refer to my relationships as periods in my life. For instance, "Year of The Lisa." It's no coincidence that some of these periods of my life are names of horrific tropical storms.

As I prepare for the New Year, I've done some thinking. More than just the obvious thoughts that run through my head (like the fact that according to the Chinese calendar 2009 is the Year of The Ox which concerns me a little) but really contemplating. I think I just need to be really honest with women: I have NO money and I'm probably not going to age well. I've already reached my peak and it's all downhill from here. I've never been good at picking up on subtle hints so please just tell me what you're thinking. I will remember random things, but sometimes not the things you deem as "important" so cut me some slack....okay, maybe I should stop. I'm just reciting the actual conversations that ended each of the last few historic "periods" of my life.