2 Hour Ford Commercial

Did anyone watch the 2 hour Ford commercial tonight on NBC? They called it "Knight Rider." I don't think I've seen product placement like this since....well, last week on Biggest Loser. Anyway, I have to say I have enjoyed some of the classic shows I grew up with coming back to primetime. For instance, American Gladiators. Let's face it - that's just good TV. Watching school teachers and average joe's getting pumbled by massive athlete's that have taken so many steriods their fingers alone are stronger than the average man. But Hulk Hogan as a host? I don't know about that. I think at 55 years old it's time to cut the blonde hair off and hang up the handkerchief from his head. But I guess it makes sense why he tries to look so tough and rugged - his real name is Terry Gene Bollea. Okay, so maybe it's not great TV but it's fun to mindlessly watch when you have nothing better to do.

I'm just curious what's next - what other TV shows from my childhood will be brought back? Maybe they'll bring back the cast of Different Strokes for an updated series (you know, the ones who aren't in prison). Gary Coleman's a definite possiblity - he's always looking for work. Plus he hasn't really aged in 25 years so he's got that going for him. And William Shatner...I bet he really misses hosting Rescue 911. Must be why he sold out to doing priceline.com commercials.

Ultimately, most of the shows should just stay locked in the vault. You know the ones I'm talking about: Hee-Haw, Golden Girls, Silver Spoons, Punky Brewster and most definitely Roseanne (yeah, I'm not even going to provide a link for this one). Actually, if we could just lock her in a vault just to cover our bases that might be good.

Shameless Self Promotion

Looking for something to do on a Friday night in Colorado Springs? Good news - The Stick Horses in Pants are doing a FREE improv comedy show at the Broadmoor Hotel Theater on April 6th at 8:00PM (yes, that is Good Friday). We take pride in keeping our shows "clean" and family friendly so anyone can attend. There is no cost for the show so bring a date and we'll let you both in free. This is audience suggestion, improvisational comedy. Not rehearsed, not scripted. If you like the TV show Who's Line Is It Anyway, you'll love our show.
I want you to be there....no excuses. If you haven't started your taxes yet, one more night isn't going to hurt.

Looking forward to seeing you there. Contact me if you have questions or need more details.

I think I con myself most of the time

Well, you're probably tired of hearing my travel stories so let's change gears - shopping misfortunes. I think I often con myself into bad purchases. A great example: Columbia House. Folks, this has never really been a good deal yet I (and others) continually take advantage of this "incredible special". You get the little flier or email showing you a great deal - 8 CD's for a penny! How can you go wrong?!? I read the fine print everytime, like I don't know that you have to buy 4 more at regular price (I'm not sure where they're getting this "regular price" because it's close to what I'd spend for the CD player itself, let alone a single disc). So, I sign up. Yes, BMG, Columbia House CD, Columbia House DVD, etc, etc - they're all just waiting for suckers like myself. A few weeks later, you've got a whole box of new DVD's for just pennies. Now the real fun starts: don't forget to send the reply card back or you'll get the editor's pick of the month - the "featured selection". I think the next logical question is, "Who is this guy and why is he picking these movies"? You know, the classics like Hair Show, The Mexican (aka Brad Pitt's compromise), and Jingle All the Way (ditto for Arnold). The next thing you know, these are showing up in your mailbox as your first clue that you apparently trashed the reply card about two weeks ago. Then, the box is designed just right so you can't actually see what the DVD is until you open it. You try pulling up the window flap just enough to not tear the box for non-returnable status, but enough to see what Mr. Very Unsavvy editor has sent you next. Finally, you get so frustrated and rip it open - DING - sale for Columbia House DVD. Not just any sale - a "regular price" sale which means you just paid $25 for a DVD. 1 down, 3 to go! Hurry and get your last 3 (for one, you've got a deadline and they're going to charge you anyway) because once you meet your membership criteria, you'll unlock special savings as a valued-customer. You poor, sorry sap. Don't worry - when you're done with this commitment, you can always sign up again! Anyway, click here to get started.

Concerned Church Member

okay, you've got to check this out - I was going to just post it on my site, but I want you to check out CJ's blog. Anyway, go to "Worship complainer - the REMIX!" post and check out the recording. You have to listen to the 2 recordings in order - first, is the actual voice mail left by this concerned member of the church, then, listen to the Remixed version. It's good stuff - definitely will make you laugh!
Worship complainer - the REMIX!

"Even my boogers are spicy"

Ahhh, a classic line from Ralph (Ralphie) Wiggum after he gets sprayed with pepper spray. Yes, that's right - I'm a huge Simpsons fan and some Christians would call me a terrible person because I watch the show. I hear parents talk about their kids watching the Simpsons and say, "That's not good for our children." My response: eating Snickers Bars and drinking Pepsi isn't good for them either, but that's sure not slowing them down from shoveling that crap down their throats all day long. Anyway, I'm pretty much giving strong hints of what I'd like for Christmas - the complete 7th season is in stores on DVD DEC 13, just in time for Christmas. What do you get a guy who has everything? The gift of humor (i.e. the Simpsons 7th season on DVD). In fact, one of my favorite books is the Gospel According to the Simpsons. If you haven't read it, you need to check it out. You may be surprised by the background and thinking of the writers of this show - it's actually pretty brilliant. Click on the banner above to check out the Simpson characters, episode guides, and the Simpsons store for more gifts for me.

Some people should just listen

It seems that some people think just because they're at a Karaoke party (or bar, depending on your style), that the HAVE to sing. Let me set you straight - if you can't sing, it's not fun for anyone. A wise man once said, "Better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt". Aaahhh, wise words. I think my favorite part about karaoke is that there are two kinds of people: drunk and sober. The drunk people lose their sense of tone, rhythm, and self respect. If these people could carry a tune at one time, all bets are off after a few adult beverages. Then, there's actually two types of sober people: "professional" singers who haven't quite made it and the only audience that can get to clap for them is a bunch of drunks, and then very confident people who don't care that they can't sing, but know they'll have a fighting chance against the drunk singers. It's really a vicious cycle of lose-lose for everyone within earshot. Okay, I guess there's one more type now that I think about it: the kind who know they can't sing, so they digress to physical humor like dancing on tables and getting down on one knee while they sing love songs to a very unimpressed female customer in the front row. It's like watching American Idol - some of them can REALLY sing, but the ones who can't...why haven't their friends told them? Certainly, there's validity in encouraging your friends, but if they can't sing and are about to humiliate themselves publicly (i.e. American Idol), maybe it's time you had a heart-to-heart, candid conversation with them first. Some people should just listen.

Jarhead - Keep your money

I was one of the few that went and saw Jarhead tonight at the theater. If you have $8 in your pocket that you don't want, here are a couple of options instead of going to Jarhead: 1) Send it to me 2) go buy a lotto ticket 3) simply flush it (not recommended). Basically, I thought the movie would be a little more action-oriented. Rather, it shows the life of a Marine during Operation Desert Storm. If they had taken out all the language and sex scenes, it would have been a rather short and dull film. Instead, it was long, dull, and crass. I just wanted to go to a movie and I thought it looked like the only decent one out right now - I was wrong.
It cetainly shows you the mundane life and daily activities of soldiers "waiting for war" and how that literally drives them insane. And, I guess if it's important to you, you get to see this no-name actor with his shirt off. Unfortunately, you get to see a lot more than that. REALLY - send me your money.

Always up for something new

Well, I DJ'd a wedding tonight - that's a first. I used to be a radio DJ in college and I've emceed various events, but never a wedding. It was a small wedding so I was actually the sound guy too (which I didn't know until I arrived). No problem. I'm always up for a challenge. The bride would probably freak out if she new before hand that I had never set up sound equipment by myself. I just showed up and started plugging wires into various sockets in which they looked like they might fit. It's like that toy you had when you were a kid where you have to fit the right shape into the right space. Yeah. I've learned that if you don't know what you're doing, just do it confidently and no one knows:) Anyway, I guess it was a success because it went smoothly, people had a good time, and I got lots of compliments. So, I guess I have a new talent. Anyone need a DJ?