Dear massage therapist,
There's something I keep meaning to tell you, but it's awkward at the moment it happens. So, here it goes:
Please stop talking to me while you give me a massage. If I wanted to pay big bucks to talk with someone, I would go see a counselor. Please note that the first word in your title is "Massage" and you asking me questions while you're supposed to be performing your primary job duty is distracting, and quite frankly, disturbing to my relaxation.
It's hard for me to talk while my face is enclosed in a small cushy pillow with a hole in the center. My words don't really come out right and I frequently fear that I will drool on your feet while trying to compose a sentence.
Really, even if I get a discount session by purchasing from Groupon or Living Social, it's still not worth it if I have to constantly answer your questions.
Thanks for listening and I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you to shut up during my massage. Also, please pass this message along to any of your dentist friends.
Thanks
Ejucated Guy
Showing posts with label dear john letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dear john letter. Show all posts
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Dear Taco Bell
Dear Taco Bell,
What happened today was a mistake. I knew I should have stopped earlier, but I just kept going. It's so hard for me, after all these years. I think I loved you once, but you've changed.
Over the past 10 years, you've hurt me many times and left me begging on my knees for the pain to stop. I knew I couldn't go on like that, so I made a decision to not come back to you. But after a while, I started wondering "what would it be like now." I thought maybe things had changed.
I heard about some new things you were working on and it sounded like you were doing well. The $5 box lured me in, only to find out you had stuffed it with things that would end up hurting me again.
I think it's best if we part ways and never cross paths again. I want to love you, but you insist on hurting me and bringing up what we just finished. My heart says yes, but my body says no. I have to trust my gut on this one and call it quits.
I'm ready for a new chapter in my life. I didn't want to tell you this, but I've been seeing Wendy lately. She just offers me things I can't get from you. Anyway, I'm sure you're not interested in hearing about that.
Tell Cinnamon Twist I said hi.
ejucatedguy
Other posts you might enjoy:
Dear Wendy's Sandwich Makers
Dear Makers of Tag Body Spray
Dear Friends
Dear Massage Therapist
What happened today was a mistake. I knew I should have stopped earlier, but I just kept going. It's so hard for me, after all these years. I think I loved you once, but you've changed.
Over the past 10 years, you've hurt me many times and left me begging on my knees for the pain to stop. I knew I couldn't go on like that, so I made a decision to not come back to you. But after a while, I started wondering "what would it be like now." I thought maybe things had changed.
I heard about some new things you were working on and it sounded like you were doing well. The $5 box lured me in, only to find out you had stuffed it with things that would end up hurting me again.
I think it's best if we part ways and never cross paths again. I want to love you, but you insist on hurting me and bringing up what we just finished. My heart says yes, but my body says no. I have to trust my gut on this one and call it quits.
I'm ready for a new chapter in my life. I didn't want to tell you this, but I've been seeing Wendy lately. She just offers me things I can't get from you. Anyway, I'm sure you're not interested in hearing about that.
Tell Cinnamon Twist I said hi.
ejucatedguy
Other posts you might enjoy:
Dear Wendy's Sandwich Makers
Dear Makers of Tag Body Spray
Dear Friends
Dear Massage Therapist
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