Things I Miss From Childhood

These are the things that made my childhood so cool:

MR BUBBLE

Heck with Rubber Ducky, Mr Bubble made bath time lots of fun for me. My mom would always measure a tiny capful, then when she left the bathroom we would add another few cups of Mr Bubble to the water. If you read up on Mr. Bubble, it was actually intended to encourage kids to take baths. Worked for me - I took a bath every Saturday night until I was 16 (This statement is for humorous purposes only. It is not intended to represent or classify actual time spent bathing).

SUPERMAN PAJAMAS & UNDEROOS
Oh yeah, these were very cool. I ran around in them all day, jumping from the 4th stair so my cape could flap in the wind a bit and I could feel the thrill of flying for 0.2 seconds. After a full day of super activities in my pj's, I would wear them to bed. I'm sure they had an awful stench.

BIG WHEELS

I'm not sure why these were so popular. I guess they were good for kids like me who didn't learn to ride a 2-wheel bike until later than most children. But the design of Big Wheels seemed a little sub-par. No matter how fast you pedaled, the flat tractionless plastic wheels just kept spinning. If you were riding along with your friends, there was no hope for talking to eachother because the plastic on pavement made so much noise, you had stop just to make sense of any conversation. Plus, the brakes on those...uummmm, I don't think they would have really served you well in a true emergency based on the fact you would still skid a good 5 feet after fully applying the brake pedal. Perhaps that most dangerous part of these cheap plastic contraptions was going down a hill where you could no longer move your legs fast enough to keep up with the pedals and you ended up whacking the hell out of your chins and feet. Way to go on introducing pain to children at an early age Mr. Big Wheel.

LAZER TAG

Very retro. Padded vest and dorky trucker hats with sensors provided hours of fun. They also used gobs of batteries and after a few stuntman dives across the floor, the guns didn't work so well.

ZOTS

There were two types of Zots. One, (Zotz) were an individually wrapped hard candy available at the local 7-11 that had a fizzy-center filling. The second type of zot was the typical boy invention - pieces of ordinary paper, folded up many times, then folded in half. Often times, we would put tape around them as well. Then, you wrap them around a rubber band and shoot them at each other like a sling shot. We had hours of zot wars in our basement growing up. My moms only requirement was that we wore goggles to protect our eyes. We also used our Lazer Tag vest to protect our core since the lazer tag set pretty much broke after the first few months we had it. We were huge dorks, but it was lots of fun. It was sort of a younger version of "Paint Ball" - we had many welts and red marks from some brutal zot shots.

Thanks for reflecting with me, and thanks to Stef N for the inspiration to write on Mr Bubble.

Grills - not just for cars and cooking

So, as you know, I have opinions about lots of stuff. Here's a new one for ya - "Grills". These are actually custom-fit jewelry that somehow we've brainwashed some American citizens to not only buy, but wear over their teeth in public. Grills slip on over your teeth, but do absolutely nothing for the health of your teeth, in fact, it's recommended that you only wear them for 3 hours at a time. You can't have them in to eat, sleep, or brush your teeth. You can purchase these stunning freakshow trinkets anywhere from $100 to over $1,000. One site offers them in everything from 10k gold, to Platinum. I've thought of some potential ways these may change our society:

1) no more need for bicycle reflectors - just smile if you're about to get hit by a car
2) "It was so romantic - he got down on one knee, smiled, and asked me to marry him with a 14k grill"
3) Criminal mugshots will be less recognizable because of the glare from their grills
4) As if rap music isn't bad enough, now we're going to hear feedback in the microphone from their teeth jewelry
5) Eminem has something else to spend his money on...what's next?...maybe his children...

Embarrassing Photos: Part 1

Ahhhh, the 80's. Okay, 1987 to be exact. I was in 3rd grade and apparently cowboy shirts and fluffy flattop hair was "in". Of course, there is always the possibility that neither of these cutting edge fashions were "in", but that was my life. The sad news is, this was picture day so I probably looked better than usual. Obviously, I didn't bother getting a hair cut - I guess I was just so excited about picture day at school that I didn't bother. Some people commented at this point in my life, I looked like IceMan from the popular movie, Top Gun.
I used to whistle while I walked - not for fun, or even on purpose. It just happened when the air blew through the large holes where my teeth used to be. Thankfully, I still had my rabbit teeth up front. Memories.

Save a friendship - pick a different gift

Apparently I'm not up on "what's cool" anymore, because this animatronics monkey is not only unappealing as a Christmas gift, it actually concerns me. Concerns me that <1> someone that calls themself a friend would buy this <2> someone who is the friend would want this. It's available through Sharper Image for a mere $149. The marketing copy actually says, ' "Alive" Chimpanzee can see, hear and feel in ways that allow him to interact intelligently with you, your family, your guests...and with baffled strangers.' Let's break that down: "see, hear and feel in ways..." stop there. It's a piece of metal wrapped in highly-flammable fur that you plug into your wall. I don't think there's a whole lot of personality there. Next, "allow him to interact intelligently with you..."If my children are interacting intelligently with this, they either need a special school or special medication. Finally, "and with baffled strangers." This I can understand. Enough said.
Certainly, the fact that his eyes look hauntingly real, his teeth look like he's been smoking for years, and "his skin reacts to contact with touch sensors all around" this is an automated nightmare waiting to happen. Someone should be fired.

Most Unrecognizable In Costume

Yep, that was the award I won at a Halloween party I went to this year - most unrecognizable. I also won "Most Likely to Save you from a Burning Building". You see, I didn't really celebrate Halloween much when I was younger. Mom usually let us have a party the night of Halloween with lots of our friends to play games, eat candy, and sleep over. We went Trick-or-Treating a few years when I was younger, but there was always the fear of razor blades and poision in candy (yet my parents let us ride bikes without helments, ride in the car without seatbelts, etc - hmmmm.) Anyway, since I've left home I've participated in Halloween more and more. It's amazing to me what a large part of my age group goes "all out" for Halloween. I went to two parties this weekend. The fun part was dressing up as Batman. The costume sort of came together at the last moment, but it worked out great. I could have convinced any kid that there was a batmobile outside.
Anyway, go to my homepage and check out the pics. What do you do for Halloween?