Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The 4th of July is over so please shoot off your remaining fireworks

Dear Neighbor,
I would like to request that you shoot off all your remaining fireworks tonight, as my patience is running thin. I'm glad that you've enjoyed the 4th of July holiday so much and I can't tell you how pleased I am with your patriotism. However, we're now well past the Independence Day celebration period.

I'm not sure if you're simply a pyromaniac or if you bought the family pack of fireworks at Sam's Club and you're just trying to get your money's worth, but it's time to fizzle out your wicks.

Typically, I fall asleep to music, a good book, or you and your wife screaming at each other (okay, that's not true. I don't read). But lately I've been lying in bed hearing loud pops, trying to determine if you've been shot by your wife or if you ignited another firework. After the "pop" I don't hear any cheering or celebratory laughter, so I can only assume that your wife hasn't shot you yet. This means you're in your yard, by yourself, putting on a pathetic and illegal firework show.

It's time to stop the pop. Gather all your fireworks and put on a grand finale tonight. I'll arrange for the fire department to stand by and you can get one of your buddies that you play poker with in your garage to video tape the whole thing and put it on YouTube. Then you'll have it for the entire year to enjoy at your own leisure.

Thanks for your understanding. Give me a call when you have a chance too - let's talk about how to get those Christmas lights taken down sometime before the end of summer.

Thanks,
Toby

Friday, July 02, 2010

Unemployment is filling my time

Well, after 4 years, I decided that real estate was not my thing. I'm still keeping my license active so if I have clients wanting to buy or sell I can refer them to a great agent.
So, I really have no excuse for not blogging more - other than the fact that I'm keeping myself busy with other things. I'm still doing improv comedy with Stick Horses in Pants, writing articles for examiner.com as the Colorado Springs Breakfast examiner, and helping a friend promote her amazing artwork.
Anyway, keep watching for more blogs - I know you're all tired of seeing the Butt Face Towel blog:)