Monday, November 18, 2013

Confessions of a bachelor

I love being single, mostly because I can get away with things no sane spouse could handle. Here are a few examples of my daily life that keep me laughing at myself:

Ironing

I keep a water bottle handy to spray my clothes with a light mist, then throw them in the dryer to get the wrinkles out.

Dusting

Thanks to Sharper Image, I just turn on my Ionic Breeze machine and it takes all the dust particles out of the air.

Trash

There is an art to stacking, shoving, piling and towering the trash.

Eating

Do not under estimate the power of gift cards.

Laundry

Don't let the care instruction tags fool you - throw it all in together, even "Dry Clean Only"

Sweeping

A leaf blower works wonders, even inside.  Just make sure the Ionic Breeze is turned on.

Shoveling

Snow melts.

Cleaning

When I need to clean the toilet, I flush first and then pee really hard on the stains.