Thursday, September 20, 2007

You're not really helping me

It's a funny thing-for some reason, as Colorado drivers, we don't have to parallel park to pass our driving test. Even so, I failed my driving test the first time I tried, but I'm proud to say I still have a clean driving record. Anyway, I learned to parallel park by....well, trying. It's very embarrassing, because I'm still not very good and I take lots of heat from friends . My lack of parking skills were fully demonstrated one evening in Manitou Springs, CO. Manitou is a small, touristy town at the foot of the mountains. It's also the witchcraft capitol of the USA, but that's not important right now and I'm not going to cite my source because I don't have one. Trust me. I'm Toby. Anyway, back to the parking problem. I was meeting my family for a nice dinner at the Mona Lisa fondue restaurant in historic (or satanic, however you want to look at it) Manitou Springs. The only available parking space was on the main street, cleverly named "Manitou Avenue". Good work with the creativity numb nuts.....ANYWAY, I pulled up to the parking space and after a 30-point manuever, I noticed there happened to be a man walking down the sidewalk next to my car. I immediately realized the opportunity for a little assistance with my parking skills and asked him to direct me. He agreed and started directing me back so I wouldn't hit the car behind me....(remember that part - it's key and a bit foreshadowing). Keep in mind (this is no excuse but certainly a critical factor) I was driving my extended cab 8-foot bed, Dodge Ram 1500 Quad Cab pick up. So, he kept directly me backward saying, "keep coming...you're fine...no problem...you've got it...I'm a huge liar....step on the gas...blah, blah, blah...BOOOOOOMMM >>>>> "what the heck?" My truck jolted and the car behind me moved down the street a bit...As soon as I realized I had hit the car behind me, he jovially blurted out in a I'm-dumber-than-a-stack-of-bricks voice, "TOO FAR!" He even laughed a little at the end...(it was very spiteful)...and then he kept walking while he shook his head like, "What a moron". YOU'RE THE MORON MY FRIEND...NO, NOT MY FRIEND....JUST MORON!! Obviously, I had no choice but to find another parking space so the car with minimal damage wouldn't know it was me.

3 comments:

Justin said...

Well, at least you took the manly option of ducking responsibility!

Suzanne said...

Who was that guy? It's like the anti-I-met-an-angel story. Maybe not a coincidence considering it's satanic...er, historic Manitou Springs. But somehow a story loses something when you say, "And then I met a demon."

Hunter said...

Since when do you have a truck?