Monday, May 08, 2006

Grills - not just for cars and cooking

So, as you know, I have opinions about lots of stuff. Here's a new one for ya - "Grills". These are actually custom-fit jewelry that somehow we've brainwashed some American citizens to not only buy, but wear over their teeth in public. Grills slip on over your teeth, but do absolutely nothing for the health of your teeth, in fact, it's recommended that you only wear them for 3 hours at a time. You can't have them in to eat, sleep, or brush your teeth. You can purchase these stunning freakshow trinkets anywhere from $100 to over $1,000. One site offers them in everything from 10k gold, to Platinum. I've thought of some potential ways these may change our society:

1) no more need for bicycle reflectors - just smile if you're about to get hit by a car
2) "It was so romantic - he got down on one knee, smiled, and asked me to marry him with a 14k grill"
3) Criminal mugshots will be less recognizable because of the glare from their grills
4) As if rap music isn't bad enough, now we're going to hear feedback in the microphone from their teeth jewelry
5) Eminem has something else to spend his money on...what's next?...maybe his children...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Toby,
This is one of the souvenirs we were going to give everyone in their "Welcome to Iowa" giftbasket for the reunion. Why you gotta go spoilin' the surprises??!

Your cousin, Kim

Ruth said...

You own one, don't you?!! C'mon, admit it!!!!

EjucatedGuy said...

These would certainly add some spunk to the family reunion in Des Moines, IA. What a nice gift - because I don't own one yet, RUTH!

blahblblblblblblbl said...

Since you are so knowledgeable about this new craze, do you know all the words to the song? Just curious

Maybe Eminem will get grills for his kids...

Ruth said...

Doesn't M&M (sorry...have chocolate on the brain at the moment) have a daughter? Bet she already has a 24k gold one...studded with diamonds...engraved with pappy's initials.

Ruth said...

Are you still alive? You're getting as bad as Becky at disappearing (you'll just have to take my word on that since you don't know her, obviously).