Friday, May 20, 2005

Aaahhh, the joy of travel

Remember me? We were probably friends at one point before I started traveling for a living. My job is taking me across the country for the past 4 years, but now the travel has increased even more. I keep telling my girlfriend that it's like 'Summer Camp'. One week at a time that we're away and it'll go so quick she'll barely notice that I'm gone. Yeah, that was a nice idea but not so much.
So if you don't know me, welcome into my head. I needed something to keep me sane while I travel, so i thought blogging was a nice option. Let me introduce myself: I'm strange, sometimes funny, and somewhat bitter about random things. That's all you need to know - I don't want anyone stalking me. Speaking of stalking, I used to work at Focus on the Family. I was a tour guide so i had lots of interaction with the public. The security staff there recommended that I didn't put my last name on my ID Badge for fear of guests stalking me (believe it or not, it had happened in the past with other tour guides). Despite their advice, I included my last name and figured, "Aaah, I'm a college student. A little excitement of a stalker might be fun." No one ever stalked me (i know, you thought that was going to be a really good story. nope.) I loved being in college - I didn't have anything. everyone was so worried about Y2K when I was in college. People were warning me to prepare and stock up for "the end of the world". I never did, because I figured even if I loose everything I have....I'm out $300 bucks.
Currently, I'm in a hotel room in Grand Rapids, MI. DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN GR, MI?!?! nothing, except a customer I needed to see. Earlier this week I was in Chicago (city and suburbs) and I finally get to spend a few days at home starting tomorrow. I hit some great food spots in Chicago, including a pizza and grinders restuarant downtown on Clark. It was amazing food. Also, I never miss going to Portillo's for hot dogs when I'm there. Good choice.
But traveling certainly creates lots of great stories to tell. For instance, last time I flew to Chicago, I was suddenly awaken on the plane by a loud, gushy, belching sound. At first I didn't know what it was, until I looked down and saw the vomit on my clothes from the passenger behind me. He apologized (wasn't that nice!) but "sorry" doesn't make the vomit go away. understand that I have just about the weakest stomach ever. I can't handle blood, vomit, boogers, or other secretions from the human body. I could never make it in a hospital, and I sometimes question if I could ever handle having kids. All that said, I would have lost my breakfast that morning on the plane, but United Airlines sidesteped that landmine by no longer serving meals on flights. No, just small bags of "Plane Cheezies" (a terrible imitation of Cheezit crackers shapped like airplanes - seriously, what am I, 5 years old? what a joke). So, the flight attendant (or whatever the PC term is now) brought me some wetwipes to clean off my khaki pants so I could attend my morning meeting that I was flying in for. What a day.
This trip, there are many stories - some which are a little vulgar and being that my mother could read this I won't share. One consistent problem of traveling is often I'll travel with roommates/coworkers. I try to remember to warn them that I talk in my sleep and occasionally scream like a 4th grade girl at recess. Now, understand that I'm not really a cussing-type-guy. But the other night I woke my roommate up with one simple word, yelled at the top of my lungs - $#!+!!!! Even though he was shaking and his heartrate trippled, deep down i think he thought it was funny.
Well, stick with me on my adventures on the road - we'll talk soon.

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