I'm not always perfect

Yep, I've taken a lot of grief from the improv group for this one. I don't know what I was thinking. I was trying to keep from cracking up on stage, then my voice cracked and that threw me a bit, then I just totally ruined the game.
The game is called "Airport Customs" and unfortunately this wasn't the first time I messed up. Just earlier that week in practice, I did something similar and everyone gave me a hard time. We joked about it, but I assured them I wouldn't do this on stage. Oops.

Blocks of wood make great gifts

As I procrastinate on my Christmas shopping again this year, I remembered one of my all-time worst gifts which I so graciously gave to my only brother. Sorry Chad.

I think I was about 11 years old and I had this cool box car kit. It came with wheels, nails to put the wheels on, and a wood block. It sat in my drawer for a long time until I decided that I was going to put it to good use and make a really cool, homemade gift for my older brother, Chad. He is my only sibling, which is unfortunate, because he got lots of crappy gifts from me and had no other source for gifts except my parents.

So, I started on my project. I went out to the garage and started carefully shaving wood chunks off what was meant to be the front of the car. Thankfully, I had my trusty cub scout pocket knife to assist me, but after carving off the edges to create my masterpiece (a grueling 20 minutes or so) I realized it was going to be pretty hard work and it was going to take a while. I decided I needed a break and went inside for a glass of lemonade. Unfortunately, I never worked on it again and before I knew it Christmas had rolled around. So, I put the wheels on (but I did that wrong because they didn't actually turn) and wrapped it up (actually, I think I had my mom wrap it). I didn't paint it. I didn't draw cool logos on it. I just ... put the wheels on. It didn't even look like a car. It looked like a piece of wood that had been used as a door jam for a while ... and then someone ... put wheels on it. As you can expect, it wasn't his favorite Christmas. Sorry Chad.

Whiner Gone Missing

So, I have to admit my dog (Kona) looks kind of funny. She was just spayed this week and the vet shaved her tummy and a patch on her left leg so they could do the surgery and give her an IV.
But I think they did more than a ovariohysterectomy....I don't know how they did it, but they took her "whiner" as well. Usually, she goes to the front door and whines when she needs to go out, but now she just sits there and make this weird breathy, air-pushing sound. Hmmm....maybe it'll come back.
They also told me she can't jump, run, use stairs, play, take a bath, swim, etc. Are you kidding me? What am I supposed to do - I mean, she's not too upset about the no bath rule, but everything else can only be accomplished if I tranquilize her (which apparently is how COPS control kids in Colorado now).

More creative than you think

I'm not sure why, but when I was young (like, really young...4 or 5 years old), after finishing going to the bathroom, I would close the lid, turn around and sit backwards on the toilet. Then, I would flush it while pretending I was starting up a truck and driving away. The good news is I always remembered to flush so I guess my mom was happy with my little game. It's been years since I've done that....seriously. However, I still remember to flush. I think it's random creativity like this that led me to improv later in life.