Optical illusion? No, just a bad day.

It looks like the front end of a car in the back seat! How is this possible? Optical illusion?
No, just a bad day.
You see, Colorado was hit with a bad snow storm last week and I was one of the many unfortunate people to get stuck in this mess. Interstates and highways were closed, Denver International Airport was shut down, and even the post office was closed for 2 days right before Christmas (rain, snow, sleet, or hail....but apparently not blizzards). For some reason, I decided to go to work (actually, it's still my hobby) and as I pulled into the parking lot of my company my car got stuck in the snow. As I tried to get unstuck, I was throwing the car into reverse and heard an unfortunate noise. That was my front bumper snapping off. Apparently, the underneath side of my bumper cover was serving as a large snow shovel under my car, scooping snow until it couldn't handle any more. I was trying to dig my car out for almost 2 hours and of course, I didn't have a shovel with me, so I was down on my knees reaching under the car, trying to pull the snow out with my hands. Now, I'm left with frost-bite on my knee caps and a rather strange looking car and a bill for over $1,000 for repairs. Donations are always welcome.
Ideally, you should have a Winter Car Kit during this time of year in case this happens to you too. This includes everything from a shovel, to a bag of kitty litter in case you can't go (that's for traction under your tires - it has nothing to do with relieving yourself). Maybe I'll take my own advice and put all the stuff in my car someday.
Anyway, I think it's time to move to Phoenix where I don't have to deal with Colorado snow storms.

Consider Yourself Warned

Click here to watch this blog as a video
Dear makers of TAG body spray,
I recently saw one of your commercials and was more than excited to try your new body spray. I was only imagining what could happen the minute I sprayed myself with your product - my mind was filled with images of large groups of girls attacking me instantly. Unfortunately, this hasn't been my experience.
When you said, "Consider Yourself Warned", I guess I thought this was a good thing. The first day I used TAG, I was overcome by a cloud of aerosol gas that I couldn't help but inhale in the close-quarters of my bathroom. My eyes began burning and when I exhaled, it was like I had been smoking TAG hookah. After escaping the formidable cloud myself, I wasn't coherent enough to think about warning my roommate. Before I knew it, he had entered the bathroom and was quickly suffering the effects of my little black bottle. Thankfully, we're both alright.
I've also noticed that the smell is slightly overpowering at first, and then it begins to turn sour throughout the day. The first day I went out after trying tag, I noticed women suddenly covering their mouths as I walked by. At first, I thought they were just laughing because I was suckered into believing they would be attracted to me, but then I realized they were throwing up in their mouths just a little. Indeed, the various scents don't seem to be as appealing to women as you promised in your commercials.
Thankfully, I won't need a refund on the $5 per bottle I paid for this product. I've found that it kills bees and wasps immediately with a quick shot, or I can empty a whole can into my house before leaving for vacation and it acts as a bug bomb, killing everything inside!

THANKS TAG!

T. L. Lorenc

A Thought for the Day

"Breaking promises makes you a liar, but liars aren't always promise breakers unless they make a promise not to lie, then break the promise by lying. Now they've lied about the fact that they lie, and breaking the promise isn't the issue - they're just a liar."
-T. L. Lorenc

It's getting harder and harder to breathe

Yes, it's been a while since I've blogged and I apologize to all those who enjoy living life vicariously through my blogs. I guess I'm so busy with my "hobby" right now that I just haven't found the time....if you don't know, my "hobby" is real estate. I can't really call it a job at this point because I haven't made any money, and as my good friend Delbert pointed out, if I'm just doing it and not making money, it's a "hobby". Thanks for the insight Delbert. It really helps me cope with the fact I haven't had a paycheck in 4 months. I guess it could also be considered unvoluntary volunteer work. Plus, I've been putting in a lot of overtime, but of course, that's not paid time either. Thursday was a good day - I worked from home. I figured if I'm not making any money, I can do that from home. It hasn't helped that this last week I've been sick with a cold. I realized something very important this morning - you can't use mouthwash when you have a cold. I nearly drowned as I tried my best to get the full effect of swishing the sugary green juice in my mouth, yet still breath through my stuffed up nose. Finally, when I was about to faint from lack of oxygen, I decided it was a good time to spit.What can I say - I'm here to help: you've been warned. It's also difficult to sleep with a cold. Breathing only through my mouth, I managed to inhale fuzzies from my blanket all night and woke myself up snoring and choking on fuzz balls. Yeah, it's been a fun week.

It's ABOUT time...

Well, apparently I don't have any felonies on my record. My real estate background check finally came back along with my license! I'm finally official. Yes, my 3-month vacation from working is over. Now, I have to really get started and work like most normal people. I'll be working with Brian Slivka at ReMax Properties, Inc. the #1 selling real estate firm in Colorado Springs. We have 5 offices and almost 300 employees, so there's a great training program and good reputation behind me. So, now it's your turn - I really need you to keep me in mind if you're looking to buy or sell a house, or if you know someone who is....or if you're like Ruth, and want to relocate to Colorado Springs (we'll talk Ruth...trust me.)

So, here's my info:

Toby Lorenc
PeakDream.com
RE/MAX Properties, Inc.
216 N. Tejon St
Colorado Springs, CO 80903
(719) 332-4816 cell
(719) 635-SOLD main

Yes, welcome to the "world of working people" Toby.

Well, thanks for asking what else is going on...I've joined a Colorado Springs improv group (The Stick Horses in Pants) to make people laugh when I'm not working. It's been fun so far but I've only been in a few shows. I'll let you know when the next show is so you can come heckle me.